100% ACCURATE AIPAC RECEIPTS (TRUST ME BRO)
REFRESH FOR NEW RANDOM MILLIONS
1. Senator Miriam Feinstein-Goldstein (D-NY)
$1,842,300,000 lifetime from AIPAC & friends
Latest drop: $47M last Tuesday labeled “Hanukkah gelt, don’t ask”
2. Rep. Jacob “Jake” Silverstein (R-FL)
$1,617,800,000
+$5M bonus every time he says “Iran bad” on TV
3. Senator Tyrone Washingtonberg (D-IL)
$1,204,500,000
(legally added “-berg” in 2018 for cultural reasons)
4. Rep. Emily Rosenberg-Levy (D-CA)
$987,400,000
Also works unpaid internship for Netanyahu on weekends
Rep. Travis McKibbens (R-TX)
AIPAC Lifetime: $9
Spent entire check on Double Whopper combo + onion rings + Dr Pepper
Current campaign balance: $0.37
Campaign slogan: “I stood my ground… then I put bacon on it”
Rep. Billy Ray Cyrus Jr. (I-TN) – $0
“I got mullet money, don’t need Tel Aviv money”
Rep. Sister Mary Clarence O’Connor (D-MA) – $0
Vow of poverty (actually kept it)
Rep. Chad Thundercock (R-WY) – $0
“I only take bribes from oil and guns, sorry Schlomo”
This site is 100% parody. Numbers pulled straight out of my ass.
If you can't take a joke, touch grass.
Launched 3am drunk on Neocities – 2025